Sunday, October 25, 2009

i miss the blog.

I'm still alive. Really. I just have no idea when to post anymore.

I have thought vaguely that I should write a graceful end-it post and shut down this blog, because realistically, I don't have time to keep it up. I haven't even had time to investigate the privacy options on Blogger. But the thought of closing up shop makes me so sad, so I do nothing, and this blog just languishes. I miss it.

I love graduate school. It's incredibly consuming, as I knew it would be, but somehow that still managed to take me by surprise, a little bit. Still, there are definitely things I miss about the old life, like having time to read (I read constantly, but now it's all feminist and critical theory; no fiction for me for a while), having time to blog, and most of all, having unlimited friend time. I really miss that. And being able to e-mail Suze about five times a day. And being able to form a sentence that doesn't contain words like "agency" and "normative."

But honestly? There's a lot more that I don't miss. Like being home all day, every day, having to create the entire structure for my day by myself, the constant career insecurity (not that this doesn't flourish in grad school, but I'm too busy right now to entertain it much), the lack of explicit purpose, never having anywhere to go that requires a decent outfit. And I love what I'm studying. I just do.

There are some areas in which I am immovable, though. We still cook good dinners. I still veg in front of Netflix with knitting, though for less time. I still run. I figure if the schedule gets really tight, I'll just run faster.

I don't know. I can't close down the blog, at least not right now. I know only about five of you are reading at this point, but that's okay. I am, by the way, mostly keeping up with your blogs, generally in post-teaching Friday-afternoon binges, which make me happy. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

15 comments:

Suze said...

Don't shut it down! It's okay if you don't post that much. That's why we have RSS feeds anyway.

Animal said...

Please, not to go. Puh-leeeze!

Jenn-Jenn, the Mother Hen said...

Please, do not shut down. I have you on a feed, so I know when you post. And I read. Even if you posted only once a month (or even less), I would still read.

Mrs. Allroro said...

I'm still reading.

Dee said...

Post when you can. I know I will keep reading.

Dee Anna

Strangeite said...

I continue to check your blog for updates.

Keep them coming, no matter how infrequent they need to be.

Anonymous said...

I have you on RSS feed. I'm just saying howdy and glad to hear your update :) ; I can't advise on your decision. -Sarah in Topeka

Jessi said...

Still reading. Seriously, this is why feeds were invented. Don't worry about it and post when you can.

Anonymous said...

I also enjoy reading your blog. Your mom doesn't call me all that often, so it's a way to keep in touch.
Auntie M.

Rachel said...

We'll read when you post : )

Feral Mom said...

Please don't stop! Glad grad school is going well.

liv said...

hi Steph, I love to read you as well. Please don't stop, it's a good way to keep up with what's going on in your life!

Animal said...

…still waiting…

Jenn-Jenn, the Mother Hen said...

Okay, so grad school should have wound down by now. Think you could drop us a line letting us know how you're doing? How was the first year? What are you most looking forward to this summer? Are you taking summer classes, etc.? Please keep us informed.

Still waiting, still have you on my feed.

(I find my captcka (sp?) funny - "themanoof")

Steph said...

OK, guys, post on the way, I promise. Thanks for holding out for me. :)